Thursday, January 29, 2009

Teaching Danial Maths and How to Read...

Yes...Danial hit his 6th birthday on 25 January 2009. And that means this year will be his last year at the kindergarten and next year he will be in year one. My feels like it was just yesterday he entered kindergarten. Then, he barely speak a word and was unable to focus on anything. I remembered him running around the field during an assembly while everybody else was lining up to sing the national anthem...and his teacher would ran after him in the effort of getting hold of him to make him stand can i ever forget those days...
Well, Danial's social skills has improved quite tremendously since he entered pre-school three and half years ago. But, i am still worried about him blending in with kids his age when he enters primary school next year. I don't know...perhaps it's because of his speech delay. I am so worried if he cannot defend himself or say out what he thinks and will be frustrated if he is not able to express himself in public. However, i know i have to let him learn from his surroundings and i have to let him face the reality of life and face it ON HIS OWN. I cannot let myself be his shadow for the rest of his life...yes yes..i am aware of that. But, no one can argue with a mother's natural habit of being over protective especially when it comes to her children's welfare...and especially if one has an autistic son like me ( ada ke mak yang tak worry if they are in my shoes...mak yang normal akan worry, trust me!)
Danial now is doing mathematics with me and he can do addition and substraction pretty well.
If the question is 9 + 6 = , first he would read aloud...nine plus six and then he would say, PLUS SIX and would take out 6 fingers and pointed out NINE (the fact that 9 has to be placed in his head...) and started counting on his fingers ...10,11,12,13,14,15! and he would say out loud the answer...FIFTEEN! and finally wrote down the number 15. He can also do questions like 8 + ___ = 16 or _____ + 8 = 19.
Danial now starts reading simple sentences...He can read fluently sentences like...
a pan in a van; a rat on a cat;a cap on a tap; sap on a map;a cap on a van;a rag in the bag, a tag on the bag;a fat rat in a net; a pin in a bin; do not jog in the fog....
and yesterday, i have started teaching him read short stories...
I have a pet.
My pet is a cat.
My cat is fat.
My cat sits on a mat.
My fat cat can run.
He sleeps in a box.
I plan to coach Danial with his english reading until June this year before i introduce him with Bahasa Melayu. To me, if he is lacking behind with his speech or some of the social skills, at least if he is not too behind in his academic, he will feel less inferior with his peers. But, honestly, i am not too worried about Danial's academic excellence because i could see, by observation while teaching and coaching him, he is quite bright.
Ahhh...the journey is still sooooo long...and all i can do is try and try and try to help Danial and also pray...yes..pray...never forget that.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Me...Biskut Tat Nenas...and the reality of life

Hari raya cookies or biskut raya as they are commonly called in Malaysia, come in a selection of choices. Every time raya arrives, one hot topic in my house would be "eh tahun ni nak buat biskut ape ya?" or " kite ni nak buat ke nak beli je biskut raya ni?". The question on whether to just buy them or home baked them would mostly depend on the amount of time that is required in making them - is it worth the effort? is it time consuming? One of the all time favourite biskut raya in my house is the London Almond cookies - it is coated with sweet chocolate topping on the outside but never fail to surprise us with the crackling of the almond sets at its center. And there is Najwa's favourite Chocolate Mountain cookies - chocolate coated crushed cornflakes which look coarse and not so presentable but would never fail to delight us with its crunchiness. But my hubby's favourite and one of my specialities, if i may say so, is the evergreen biskut tat nenas!

To make biskut tat nenas, one has to be very patient before embarking on the journey. There is this pineapple jam filling that has to be pre-prepared and later need to digentil2 kecik2, not too round like a soccer ball or too oval-shaped... an oblong shape would be just right i guess. This process is sooo messy as it would make our fingers all sticky. Once that is done, there is the pastry to prepare - with a wooden spoon, mix the room temperature butter and caster sugar in a bowl, add in egg yolks and pour in sikiiiit je egg white from one egg...becareful here because too much of egg whites will make the pastry hard and too little of it will make the pastry too soft! Next, stuff some pastry into the mould. Squeeze the pastry through the holes. The length of the pastry is about 1.5- 2 inches long, depending on the size of the pineapple jam. Place the jam on the pastry and finally, roll them up. I must say, this IS a messy affair so that’s why it is important to get the jam ready in little blobs...
If it is too messy and tedious, one might wonder...why take the trouble of making it? To me, it's like some of the choices i make in life. More often than not, i acquainted with individuals whom i was aware of their attitudes or problems, but still i allowed myself to be with them, tried my best to talk through them with the hope they would change, be with them at difficult times with the hope that they knew there were people who genuinely loved and cared about them and have faith in them at the times when everyone had turned away from them. Why? Because, i believed if i approached them with patience and care, these people would eventually turned out to be responsible inviduals, kind hearted and considerate, no matter how stubborn or difficult a person might have been. And this i should say would be the most satisfying achievement and worth a sacrifice. Just like when making biskut tat nenas, with patience and careful measurement, followed by the right oven temperature when baking, the result at the end of the day would be a most satisfying taste of the softness of its pastry and the sweetness of its filling - certainly worth the effort, don't you all agree?
But sometimes, mishaps did take its place. Even with careful measurement, if the temperature of the oven was too high, the results would be devastating. Because, then, the pastry would be overcooked and the pineapple filling would be chewy and hard! And would i still want to keep them? I don't think that would be a good idea because, o my god, that would be so frustrating and so not worth the effort. And especially if they were badly burnt, i would certainly, without remorse, threw them away in the basket!
It is the same when i am dealing with people. Yes, i would be very patient and willing to invest my time to care and concern about them, but in the end, if they prove to be inconsiderate of my feelings and ungrateful to all the hardship and sacrifice i have made for them, do you think it would be worth having these people in my life? The answer is NO and though i won't throw them away in the basket (which in many cases i wish i could...) yes, i would just walk away from these people with the hope they would never step into my life again...

However, there were many instances in the past i wished it would be easy for me to just walk away from these people but was not. Why? Because of the love and care i genuinely have for them. And that i still hope that one day they would look back and take some time to ponder upon all the effort i had invested on them in the past because in reality, it is never that easy for me to just let go of or even stay away from the people whom i so dearly love's the reality of life...

Friday, January 23, 2009

My Own Quote

"The deepest pain is none to be witnessed by the naked eyes, it can only be felt from the heart..."

by me, 22 Jan 2009

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

..Once Upon A time I Taught One Bright Boy..

Banyak2 mulut, mulut sape tak de insurance???
Our first acquaintance was rather informal. I was walking to my car. It was after one calculus test and he was walking with his friend behind me...

" celaka...****mak punye ketas soklan! ade ke last2 pi tanye amende ntah!!!!".

O wait a minute...what did he just say??? I suddenly was taken by his emmm should i say inappropriate comments..??

I slowly turned around and stood right infront of them. Both boys were showing me a pelik face like "aik..pehal pompuan ni tak pasal2 benti tengah2 jalan ni.." ha cam tu punye muka.

"excuse me...what did you just say? it was me who set the questions in the test paper u just sworn if you must know..."

"eh saya bukan kata tu kat puan..saya kata kat..." he tried to defend himself (amboi, bole tahan budak ni ada ati defending himself lagi..da la botak...). He was right on the part he didn't mean the words for me but i took it quite personally since i was the one who set the test was sort of like being attacked, well, not literally...
"apologise now..Now...". I insisted.

Unquestioningly he said " sorry puan...tapi saya..."...he tried to proceed on defending himself...

I didn't allow him to finish his sentence, "good...that's all i want to hear.." said me just before i entered my car.

Minta perhatian! Ni budak datang dari mane nii??

Our path crossed again a semester later when i taught him Calculus II. I remembered his first day to my class. More hair now...He wore a yellow T-shirt, quite worn off, and he looked like someone who just jumped up from the bed and ran off to class...o ya...dengan memakai selipar jepun....(budak ni baru kluar toilet trus blari gi class aku ke ape ni....terkata jugak dalam ati..). If my memory still serves me well, i think that was the only time he came to my morning class on time...yes..only for the first day of class.

He never enter the class late...he entered last! I could hear the dragging of his feet a few yards away from the entrance. Krekkk...krekkkkk....(Urghhhhh...). As he made his entrance, he would be very polite, slightly nodded his head as a mean of acknowledging me standing infront of the class...paced calmly to his seat...stretched his left hand to reach the back pocket of his jeans ..took out a blunt pencil while his right hand reached out for the chair. Now seated, he looked at his friends sitting on his left and right...took a deep breath...
"eh!bagi aku ketas selai.." slowly he spoke to one of them...

I then gave the class a few questions to try on and the class was in complete silence when suddenly....Kroekkk..Kroekkk... What on earth was that sound??? Kroekkk...Kroekkk...And the sound went on again...Out of curiousity, i walked around the class in search of that strange sound. I saw him slightly bending down...and there he was..sharpening his pencil under the table! And then he looked up and saw me staring at him in rather disbelief,
and he said "nak sharp pencil pon tak bole ke??"
Mentadak mentadu...budak pandai macamane rupa???
This might not be even close to one of the wonders of the world but a few things came to my realization. His answers would only be 2 to 3 lines,while others might went on to half a page, but his would be precise and correct while others could either be wrong or incomplete. Despite the fact that he was late most of the time or missed my classes for at least a quarter of the time, his grades, if not at the same level as his friends, were sometimes better than his peers. Hmmm...
But better was not good enough for me because i knew he could do more than just being 'better'. So one day he came into my office handing in his assignment and we had a chat. From his his what he did in his spare times (may god be with him during his spare times...hahahahah)...etc etc...until to a point where i pointed out to him the fact that he was, and still is i believe, born intelligent.
"ish puan nii...jangan la cakap camtu...takut saya denga. Saya tak de la pandai sangat...amende pon saya dapat so far niii..orang len tu same je..." said he.
"eh..mmg la i tak kata pon u pandai..i kata u tu born intelligent. But you tak fully utilised ur intelligence sb tu jadik tak pandai sangat...paham?" we both laughed to this statement.
"to me sayang la kan...some people would be dying to have a brain like yours...try la...takkan la u tak de self pride kot...tak kan la suke jadik orang tak pandai or just being average when u know its achieveable for you...kan?" i continued...
"tengok la ye puan cammane kan puan...tak penah ada cikgu cakap saya pandai...jauh sekali nak soh saya jadik pandai. Smue cikgu dalam sejarah idup saya kan puan..tak penah yang suke dgn saya...senyum pon tak nak..." . At this point, truthfully, i could not tahan my gelak...the way he said it was as though he was a terrorist back in high school but on the other hand, i took his words as a compliment too because he knew i saw him differently and he appreciated it.
Sometime after this conversation, i saw him gradually change to a new person. He might still came in late to my class but not always last. When he reached out for his left pocket, he took out still a blunt pencil but now along with it was a note book (exercise book budak skola rendah tuuu but that's a great improvement though...hahhahaha). Quite properly dress up to class, ye la kan...tak la pakai baju Tshirt bangun tido tu kan.... But the most striking difference i could see was that he was more alert and was very attentive. And his grades were by then between 90% to 100%.
...there were happy times and there were sad times...
A shocking news. It was a weekend. I was lying down on my bed trying to get some rest after doing my weekly shopping at the market when my handphone rang. The caller was his sister (who happened to be my ex student in 1999..). It was a shocking news to all of him, to his sister, to his entire family...the sudden demiss of his late father. I drove his sister home because she flew from Langkawi and reached LCCT and had no one to drive her.
I saw him from far. He wore a green baju melayu. He looked helpless and sad. When everything was settled and it was time for me to go home, i met his mom, and introduced myself and i wanted to convey my condolences. But before i mention my name, his mom instantly said "aahhh ni puan rohani ya....".
He walked slowly towards my car. As he approached closer, i could see his face gradually changed and as he stood infront of me, he broke down in tears. I held him and told him to be strong and it was totally fine to cry.
It was Mother's Day 2008. He and his friend insisted on having tea with me. Since it was no secret that i love cheese cake, we had tea at Secret Recipe and i did have a slice of yummy classic cheese cake...I excused myself to go to the ladies for awhile and when i came back, i saw a card on my seat. I opened it and it was a sweet pink Mother's Day card with a little ribbon bow on its middle and on it written the most beautiful words anyone could ever imagine....
He said " puan, u kena baca tau smue ayat dlm card tu...i hand picked myself tu...thank you for everything ea puan"
25 June 2008. He turned 20 on that day. There were three of us, he, his friend and me. We celebrated his birthday at Swensen's (o boy, i had icecream there last week with my hubby n aisyah and it was fantastic..!). Ate...laughed...ate again...laughed again...da kenyang...bagi2 adiah...kite pon balik....hahahahah! As simple as that but it was fun.
It was a tuesday morning. I landed at LCCT at about 11am. I went for a 4D3N vacation to Bali with my husband. Less than an hour after i reached home, we drove down to his hometown to visit him because that day he had his tonsils removed. While i was there, i grabbed the chance of visiting his mom at her house, an extremely nice woman...Datin Hasiah. O ya tak ya...recently, someone pointed out to me.."eh puan, u tak pasan ke suara die cam len sikit pas operate tuu..da tak macam itik sangat..btolll"..."tak pasan pulak. Nnti la ya kalau i jumpe die lagi i denga betol2 ea...hahhahahahah!"
A day before HariRaya 2008, Malaysia time. We spoke online and he said "puan, i takut esok tak sempat cakap. Ni i nak cakap ea. I susun sepuluh jari tangan kaki smue, minta ampun banyak2 ea puan. Kalau u mak i, dah lama i jadik batu..." . No comment on that one...hic!
My 40th birthday. He sent an offline message wishing me happy birthday and hoped that i had a good one with my family. And he promised..."nanti i balik nanti kita celebrate ok.." and he also promised to introduce me to his friend... say goodbye...
He came back recently. We meet up and had tea along with his sweet friend (sgt sweet...)and we spoke and exchanged news...but rather formal sebab i was just introduced to his friend and rasa kekok takut trpranjat lak kawan tu kang tgk i bising bagaikan ape so kena la proper sikit...hic!. As we were about to part i asked " would this be the last time i gonna see you before you fly back to US?"
He said " eh tak lah...nnti ade je time jumpa lagi sblom i balik...".
He made use every single day of his 4 weeks break to its maximum. Family hols in Langkawi...friends hols in Langkawi again..It's good to know he had the best of times.
We didn't get to celebrate my birthday though and in fact, that brief meeting i had with him and his sweet friend turned out to be the only time i met him.
At this particular moment this article is written, he is already on his flight, back to the US. So here i am wishing him the best of luck in his studies, the best of times he gonna have there and hope he will remember me as i will always remember that once upon a time i once taught one bright boy named Mohd Zaim Zuhuri.

Monday, January 19, 2009

NurJannah Iman Syaqirene ~ A Young Lady With Vision...The Little Girl That Captures My Heart..

NJ - a brief farewell for us all from Boston class,summer 2007

Who's that girl???

She sat at the furtherst right row in her class that semester. It was spring 2007. I noticed her presence quite instantly. She was this girl, petite, yet full of zest and confidence. I heard her friends called her NJ for short but back then, I preferred to call her Jannah instead. Yes, ladies and gentlemen...May I have this honor of introducing you to the star of my blog today ~ NurJannah Iman sweet girl Jannah, the little girl that captures my eyes.

O god...Look who's talking??? Please queue up for your turn ya...owh please raise your hand if u want to speak next...

Nj is a very talkative person. If you think you want to engage a conversation with her, my advise is you'd better have two to three stories in stock or else she WILL dominate the whole event. Yup, this little lady can talk like no other and when she does, she would deliver with such enthusiasm and be so expressive with her words. She speaks English so fluently that when she speaks Malay it would make her sound as though she is a Malay girl adopted by an American family...hahahhah! And when she speaks Malay she does it with quite a style...." o ya..betol betol...sangat memahami...".

There was one day, when she came home for summer holidays last year, Nj and me sat in my car for almost 2 hours...just talking..and you bet who spoke most of the time..from one story to another..until at one time tu she paused for a moment and asked me " eh are still with me right? You are not lost kan??". hahhaahahah.

NJ is very observant; be it, in general, what happens or circulate around her to the littlest detail of what some people wear on daily basis. She once pointed out to me the fact that i never or hardly worn a same dress to class for a minimal period of two weeks... at that time i thought..owh really NJ??? I never noticed's unintentional ( yea rite...hahahah).

And she once told me "eh ibu, die tu mmg loaded you know...brief die brand St Michael ibu..." she giggled.

I was like "hey! mana awak tahu die pakai brand tu...teruknye...".

"alaa ..tak de la..die bongkok2 tu nampak laaaa..ibu ni.." defending herself.

"oooo itu la u buat ea time i ajar..tak concentrate rupe2 nye yeee..." by then we both were laughing our heart out.

Apart from being observant, NJ is very sensitive towards those who are less fortunate. Her passion for voluntary work says it all. She started doing voluntary work very early. As a matter of fact she is still involved with such activities in Chicago where she is studying now. She even has the intention of continuing voluntary work as long as she can and that to me is very noble.

Have you heard of a saying 'don't judge a book by its cover'?

We were having tea one evening. I couldn't really remember how that conversation came up but we suddenly spoke about our childhood. NJ was trying to express to me how she felt as a result of being a child of a divorced parents but somehow couldn't find the right words to best convey what she felt inside. Consequently, it was like a sentence consisted of a number of blanks...

"i don't know, it's not that i felt inadequate ke ape, my life is just fine but i just feel...emmm..cammane ea.."

" it's not that i don't trust people, i do have close friends smue..but still...."

As she was struggling to find those words as an attempt to make me understand what she was trying to say...before she knew it, i helped her fill in those blanks...I managed to describe to her the exact feelings of a child who was lack of an emotional support from a mother and to her amazement i could also elaborate the reason to some of her actions which more often than not were very emotionally driven... And when i finished, she looked straight into my eyes, stared at me for a brief moment and she said..
" o my god...yes, yes that's exactly how it feels..yes, yes....but how did you know??"

"well my dear, i was you once...and i know exactly what u went through. And we both look so confident when we stand up and speak...why? because people like us would naturally be cautious to display our trueself..the fact that underneath that confident personality we let others see resides a little girl who ARE emotionally insecure..."

"yeah..that's very true..." she muttered slowly as she gazed on the drink in her hands.

" you are the first person...the only one so far who could describe that feelings in wonder..." she continued.

NurJannah Iman Syaqirene in my eyes...

When i look at her, NJ stands out as a young lady with a vision in life. Her confidence, for her age, is like none to compare with. She knows what she wants to achieve in life and make plans for it. NJ is a very sensitive person. She honors friendship and will be very sad to lose even one of them. She was very unhappy and sangat terasa many months ago when a dear friend of hers, for unknown reason, decided to drift away from her and kept silence. But, alhamdullilah, they are now starting to communicate again and i am very happy for her.

Recently, the same mishap happened to me and NJ gave me a piece of advise " well ibu, don't be like me ego stopped me from giving my fren a call..don't be like me k.."

She is very very thoughtful and caring. We don't talk online everyday, but when we do, she wouldn't miss to ask how things are with me and what i am up to recently. She tried to call me on my 40th birthday but did not manage to get through. We somehow spoke on the phone a few weeks after that day and as usual, she sounded excited and happy. And early this month, i received a delivery from NJ..o my god..she posted a belated birthday present to me ~ Elizabeth Arden Green Tea Perfume set ( u know this is too much nj..u know u don't have to do this...). And there was the sweetest birthday card in the box and i felt so lucky to be the one she devoted those wonderful words she wrote on that card...

If she was the little girl that captured my eyes the first time i saw her back then in spring 2007...for the first time in the 15 years of my teaching career...and till this day, NurJannah Iman Syaqirene is the only girl...yes..the only little girl that captures my heart...

May Allah be with you always..

Luv u loads sweetie..yes you!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Pabila ketenangan yang diimpikan..ketenangan jua yang dikurniakan...

The hour was still early...6.30am. After solat subuh and spent a few moments on the praying mat doing my daily reading of Al-quran and berdoa...I went to the kitchen to see Nuwairah a.k.a Ira and Aisyah getting ready for school. My kids don't eat heavy breakfast (sakit perut la ibu..nnti kena berak kat skola laa...). Ira would just take a slice of bread with nuttella and Aisyah, since school began this year, has started taking chocholate flavored Herbalife drink. By 7 am, my husband took the car key and headed towards his car. Without him having to say anything, Aisyah and Ira quickly put on their socks and shoes and reached for their school bags because they knew it was time to go to school. I told my husband i wanted to brisk walk to Seksyen 3 and would meet him at one of the restaurants for our "compulsory time together" for breakfast.

It was a peaceful morning. The early morning breeze brushed my 40 year old face and I headed to the lake. As i quickened my pace, i saw people rushing to start their day. A few cars made a quick stop at a food stall by the roadside buying breakfast for their kids to eat at school or for them to eat at the office. I heard a little boy cried and saw him struggled in his mother's arms, not wanting to be seated in the car and perhaps adamantly not wanting to be sent to the babysitter or nursery. I continued my morning walk and i smiled ~ until 7 months ago, for 15 years, i was one of those people. But the question is: Was I making the right decision not to be one of them?

About ten minutes of walking from my house, i now reached the lake site. The whole scenery of a busy and hectic life i witnessed a moment ago inspired me to reflect the 15 years of being a career woman, a mother to 3 daughters and an autistic son and a wife. I thought ~ how did i manage to juggle my time with the kids and family and work all in one?? The truth was i wasn't doing a pretty good job at all. I let others manage my kids most of the time. Though i fetched them from school, 90% of the time i just dropped them off in front of the house and they would be greeted by my maid who not only cooked their lunch but also attended to their needs as they prepared themselves for the agama classes in the afternoon. They went to agama classes by van. I would meet them again later in the evening by 6pm. And by then, i was totally exhausted. With the hypertension i have been suffering from since my son Danial was born, you can imagine how fatigue i was after solat isyak. There were many instances when my husband came home from work seeing me already in bed. That didn't include the times when i was down with sickness and worst if i had to be admitted to the hospital.

Suasana di tasik that morning sangat tenang. Tidak sibuk seperti di hujung minggu. Hanya ada kurang dari 10 orang dari golongan yang sudah bersara menjalani riadah harian mungkin sejurus selepas mereka solat subuh at the nearby blue mosque. Sambil berjalan laju (sebab exercise kan...bukan jalan2 suka2..), my eyes could not escape the panoramic view of the lake in the morning...and my thoughts fixed to the life i am going through now. Bila difikirkan, my life now sama saje dari segi kesibukan dan kepenatan as compared to the times when i worked full time. Though i am no more working full time, handling and settling my kids with their daily activities can easily occupied the 24 hours i have in a day.

6am - solat subuh, make sure ira n aisyah ready for school n najwa bangun for solat subuh

7am- send ira n aisyah to school/morning walk if abah baik ati nak anta kids to school(hehheeh), breakfast with hubby

8am-send Danial to kindergarten, najwa to co-curriculum activity at school on Tuesdays, market

9am- fetch najwa from school on tuesdays/swimming

1030am - cook lunch

12.45am- send najwa to school

1.00pm - fetch Ira and Danial from school

2.30pm - send Ira to agama class,fetch Aisyah from school

3.30pm - fetch Aisyah from school only on Tuesdays

4pm - send Danial ngaji on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays

5pm - fetch Danial on ngaji days,fetch Ira from agama class, send Aisyah to Tuition

6.45pm - fetch Najwa from school

7pm - fetch Aisyah from Tuition

8pm - send and wait for Ira n Danial for swimming lesson on Tuesday and Thursday nites

9.45pm- fetch Ira n Danial from the pool/Najwa from tuition BM on wednesday nites

Though i penat keluar masuk rumah, the tiredness is only physical. Unlike previously, I am no more worried about my kids' safety (maid kat rumah bagi makan tak anak aku ni...ok ke bdk van ni..alaaa die tunggu lame2 kat tepi jalan luar skola tu ok ke...). I am there to send them to and fetch them from school, i am there to watch them eat lunch,tea and dinner, i sit with them when they do their homework..i am practically with them the whole time whenever they are not at school. I even have time to coach Aisyah with her PMR subjects, help Ira and Najwa with their homeworks, teach Danial to read...A few days ago, Aisyah came home from school and i sat with her while she ate her lunch and we talked..about friends, new teachers, and suddenly Aisyah stayed quiet for a moment and slowly she told me..
"ibu, i actually have something to tell you. It bothered me and i could not sleep well for the past 2 nites"
I asked.." what is it?"
"You know Neena (her swimming fren), during the tornament, she brought her camera and i was holding it and looking at it and anyway she asked me to take some pics pun..but lepas tengok2 tu i placed the camera beside her. The camera was lost and Neena accused me hilangkan her camera..I am scared to tell you and abah coz the camera costs about rm600+. She insisted me buy a new one for her.."
" Ok..we will discuss this with abah later today ok..for now, finish ur lunch quick, you got homework to worry about and tuition class to go to later..."
I was calmed, which i wouldn't be should Aisyah break this kind of news if i just came back from the office...i would be like..'you what????? what have gotten into your mind??? rm600+????? You wait until abah comes home and you' ll see what he has to say!!!'. Yup, that would exactly how i would react should this happen 7 months earlier.
After i said what i said to her over the camera issue, Aisyah slowly lifted her eyes and looked at me. She had tears in her eyes. " O my god ibu, i was so scared u and abah will be angry..i couldn't sleep...i am sooo glad you are not as angry as i thought you would be..."
I said " dah dah..i think it was not 100% your fault. Neena was careless too. But you bet abah and me will still ground you'd better learn this lesson. See, I told you so many times already. Don't easily trust people. You thought Neena was one of your best buddies, now the moment she was in trouble, the first thing she did was turning her back from you. And in the end, who will bail u out?? Your dad and me kan? Learn from all this..."
I was crossing the road and heading towards the restaurant when i saw my darling hubby from a distant. As we both walked holding hands entering the restaurant, my thought was still on the question i had when i was at the lake just now. I took a deep breath and I smiled because I have the answer to the question. If i stayed on working full time, i wouldn't have sane moments with my kids..especially with my teenage daughters Aisyah and Najwa...i wouldn't have as much calm and peaceful time-together with my hubby as now...Honestly, I have never experienced such feeling of ketenangan like what i am feeling right now and i am very happy with my current lifestyle ~ Yes, i have made the right decision not to be one of those people...