Teaching Danial Maths and How to Read...

Yes...Danial hit his 6th birthday on 25 January 2009. And that means this year will be his last year at the kindergarten and next year he will be in year one. My my...it feels like it was just yesterday he entered kindergarten. Then, he barely speak a word and was unable to focus on anything. I remembered him running around the field during an assembly while everybody else was lining up to sing the national anthem...and his teacher would ran after him in the effort of getting hold of him to make him stand still...huhhhh....how can i ever forget those days...

Well, Danial's social skills has improved quite tremendously since he entered pre-school three and half years ago. But, i am still worried about him blending in with kids his age when he enters primary school next year. I don't know...perhaps it's because of his speech delay. I am so worried if he cannot defend himself or say out what he thinks and will be frustrated if he is not able to express himself in public. However, i know i have to let him learn from his surroundings and i have to let him face the reality of life and face it ON HIS OWN. I cannot let myself be his shadow for the rest of his life...yes yes..i am aware of that. But, no one can argue with a mother's natural habit of being over protective especially when it comes to her children's welfare...and especially if one has an autistic son like me ( ada ke mak yang tak worry if they are in my shoes...mak yang normal akan worry, trust me!)

Danial now is doing mathematics with me and he can do addition and substraction pretty well.

If the question is 9 + 6 = , first he would read aloud...nine plus six and then he would say, PLUS SIX and would take out 6 fingers and pointed out NINE (the fact that 9 has to be placed in his head...) and started counting on his fingers ...10,11,12,13,14,15! and he would say out loud the answer...FIFTEEN! and finally wrote down the number 15. He can also do questions like 8 + ___ = 16 or _____ + 8 = 19.

Danial now starts reading simple sentences...He can read fluently sentences like...

a pan in a van; a rat on a cat;a cap on a tap; sap on a map;a cap on a van;a rag in the bag, a tag on the bag;a fat rat in a net; a pin in a bin; do not jog in the fog....

and yesterday, i have started teaching him read short stories...

MY PET CAT

I have a pet.

My pet is a cat.

My cat is fat.

My cat sits on a mat.

My fat cat can run.

He sleeps in a box.

I plan to coach Danial with his english reading until June this year before i introduce him with Bahasa Melayu. To me, if he is lacking behind with his speech or some of the social skills, at least if he is not too behind in his academic, he will feel less inferior with his peers. But, honestly, i am not too worried about Danial's academic excellence because i could see, by observation while teaching and coaching him, he is quite bright.

Ahhh...the journey is still sooooo long...and all i can do is try and try and try to help Danial and also pray...yes..pray...never forget that.

My Own Quote

"The deepest pain is none to be witnessed by the naked eyes, it can only be felt from the heart..."

by me, 22 Jan 2009

Pabila ketenangan yang diimpikan..ketenangan jua yang dikurniakan...

The hour was still early...6.30am. After solat subuh and spent a few moments on the praying mat doing my daily reading of Al-quran and berdoa...I went to the kitchen to see Nuwairah a.k.a Ira and Aisyah getting ready for school. My kids don't eat heavy breakfast (sakit perut la ibu..nnti kena berak kat skola laa...). Ira would just take a slice of bread with nuttella and Aisyah, since school began this year, has started taking chocholate flavored Herbalife drink. By 7 am, my husband took the car key and headed towards his car. Without him having to say anything, Aisyah and Ira quickly put on their socks and shoes and reached for their school bags because they knew it was time to go to school. I told my husband i wanted to brisk walk to Seksyen 3 and would meet him at one of the restaurants for our "compulsory time together" for breakfast.

It was a peaceful morning. The early morning breeze brushed my 40 year old face and I headed to the lake. As i quickened my pace, i saw people rushing to start their day. A few cars made a quick stop at a food stall by the roadside buying breakfast for their kids to eat at school or for them to eat at the office. I heard a little boy cried and saw him struggled in his mother's arms, not wanting to be seated in the car and perhaps adamantly not wanting to be sent to the babysitter or nursery. I continued my morning walk and i smiled ~ until 7 months ago, for 15 years, i was one of those people. But the question is: Was I making the right decision not to be one of them?

About ten minutes of walking from my house, i now reached the lake site. The whole scenery of a busy and hectic life i witnessed a moment ago inspired me to reflect the 15 years of being a career woman, a mother to 3 daughters and an autistic son and a wife. I thought ~ how did i manage to juggle my time with the kids and family and work all in one?? The truth was i wasn't doing a pretty good job at all. I let others manage my kids most of the time. Though i fetched them from school, 90% of the time i just dropped them off in front of the house and they would be greeted by my maid who not only cooked their lunch but also attended to their needs as they prepared themselves for the agama classes in the afternoon. They went to agama classes by van. I would meet them again later in the evening by 6pm. And by then, i was totally exhausted. With the hypertension i have been suffering from since my son Danial was born, you can imagine how fatigue i was after solat isyak. There were many instances when my husband came home from work seeing me already in bed. That didn't include the times when i was down with sickness and worst if i had to be admitted to the hospital.

Suasana di tasik that morning sangat tenang. Tidak sibuk seperti di hujung minggu. Hanya ada kurang dari 10 orang dari golongan yang sudah bersara menjalani riadah harian mungkin sejurus selepas mereka solat subuh at the nearby blue mosque. Sambil berjalan laju (sebab exercise kan...bukan jalan2 suka2..), my eyes could not escape the panoramic view of the lake in the morning...and my thoughts fixed to the life i am going through now. Bila difikirkan, my life now sama saje dari segi kesibukan dan kepenatan as compared to the times when i worked full time. Though i am no more working full time, handling and settling my kids with their daily activities can easily occupied the 24 hours i have in a day.

6am - solat subuh, make sure ira n aisyah ready for school n najwa bangun for solat subuh

7am- send ira n aisyah to school/morning walk if abah baik ati nak anta kids to school(hehheeh), breakfast with hubby

8am-send Danial to kindergarten, najwa to co-curriculum activity at school on Tuesdays, market

9am- fetch najwa from school on tuesdays/swimming

1030am - cook lunch

12.45am- send najwa to school

1.00pm - fetch Ira and Danial from school

2.30pm - send Ira to agama class,fetch Aisyah from school

3.30pm - fetch Aisyah from school only on Tuesdays

4pm - send Danial ngaji on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays

5pm - fetch Danial on ngaji days,fetch Ira from agama class, send Aisyah to Tuition

6.45pm - fetch Najwa from school

7pm - fetch Aisyah from Tuition

8pm - send and wait for Ira n Danial for swimming lesson on Tuesday and Thursday nites

9.45pm- fetch Ira n Danial from the pool/Najwa from tuition BM on wednesday nites

Though i penat keluar masuk rumah, the tiredness is only physical. Unlike previously, I am no more worried about my kids' safety (maid kat rumah bagi makan tak anak aku ni...ok ke bdk van ni..alaaa die tunggu lame2 kat tepi jalan luar skola tu ok ke...). I am there to send them to and fetch them from school, i am there to watch them eat lunch,tea and dinner, i sit with them when they do their homework..i am practically with them the whole time whenever they are not at school. I even have time to coach Aisyah with her PMR subjects, help Ira and Najwa with their homeworks, teach Danial to read...A few days ago, Aisyah came home from school and i sat with her while she ate her lunch and we talked..about friends, new teachers, and suddenly Aisyah stayed quiet for a moment and slowly she told me..

"ibu, i actually have something to tell you. It bothered me and i could not sleep well for the past 2 nites"

I asked.." what is it?"

"You know Neena (her swimming fren), during the tornament, she brought her camera and i was holding it and looking at it and anyway she asked me to take some pics pun..but lepas tengok2 tu i placed the camera beside her. The camera was lost and Neena accused me hilangkan her camera..I am scared to tell you and abah coz the camera costs about rm600+. She insisted me buy a new one for her.."

" Ok..we will discuss this with abah later today ok..for now, finish ur lunch quick, you got homework to worry about and tuition class to go to later..."

I was calmed, which i wouldn't be should Aisyah break this kind of news if i just came back from the office...i would be like..'you what????? what have gotten into your mind??? rm600+????? You wait until abah comes home and you' ll see what he has to say!!!'. Yup, that would exactly how i would react should this happen 7 months earlier.

After i said what i said to her over the camera issue, Aisyah slowly lifted her eyes and looked at me. She had tears in her eyes. " O my god ibu, i was so scared u and abah will be angry..i couldn't sleep...i am sooo glad you are not as angry as i thought you would be..."

I said " dah dah..i think it was not 100% your fault. Neena was careless too. But you bet abah and me will still ground you though..you'd better learn this lesson. See, I told you so many times already. Don't easily trust people. You thought Neena was one of your best buddies, now the moment she was in trouble, the first thing she did was turning her back from you. And in the end, who will bail u out?? Your dad and me kan? Learn from all this..."

I was crossing the road and heading towards the restaurant when i saw my darling hubby from a distant. As we both walked holding hands entering the restaurant, my thought was still on the question i had when i was at the lake just now. I took a deep breath and I smiled because I have the answer to the question. If i stayed on working full time, i wouldn't have sane moments with my kids..especially with my teenage daughters Aisyah and Najwa...i wouldn't have as much calm and peaceful time-together with my hubby as now...Honestly, I have never experienced such feeling of ketenangan like what i am feeling right now and i am very happy with my current lifestyle ~ Yes, i have made the right decision not to be one of those people...

Danial, Primary school & Autism~ When in a state of confusion, who u gonna call??

Rashitah Rahmat was my classmate in STF back in 1981-1985. Kulit hitam manis and hair touched her shoulder, Shitot was one of the brightest girls in our class;always the first in class for all exams as far as i remembered, at least from form 1 till form 3 (kan shitot???). It is really a small world because though my path and Shitot's never cross after we left school in 1985, my husband knew Shitot and her husband when all of them studied in the US!

Apart from being classmates during our secondary school years, another thing me and Shitot shared in common is that we both have an autistic son. Since, recently, my concern on Danial's future primary school deepens, i could think of noone else to turn to for advise....of course it would be none other than my dear old friend...Shitot.

Here is my recent conversation with her via emails...

Me:

I nak tanya ur opinion la. My son danial kan mild autism. Most of his autistic behavior dah ilang.But he is still delayed in speech. He has another year at kindergarten. I tak yakin die can cope with the public school yang ramai2 tu. Tp nak masukkan kat kelas pendidikan khas kat skola tu cam die akan bercampur dgn bdk2 yang lagi teruk developmental problemnye. I takut if i joinkan die dlm kelas tu, die regress pulak instead of progressing. What say you?

Rashitah rahmat..
put him in the normal stream. my son tu kena assess by the PPD officers pasal I want them to see how he is - he does not qualify to be in the special class pasal borderline case. too normal to be in special class but not normal enough to be in the normal stream. he will not improve in the special class. let him try that first. he can still be transferred to special class later kalau you risau sangat but it is not reversible once you place him in the special class. you kan cikgu jugak - why worry too much. have faith in him.

Me:
not that i dont have faith in him..i takut sgt die kena buli and bdk2 ejek die.. i am sooo afraid he cannot defend himself...and in the end, die akan depress..

Rashitah rahmat:

we need to go thru this episode...my son pernah balik sekolah dgn baju dia ada kesan tapak kasut budak mana entah. i pernah witness budak tendang dia. pasal kena ejek tu nak cakap macamana lagi pasal he is different - kids are kids. my daughter used to get very upset pasal org usik adik dia plus sometimes dia rasa malu ada adik mcm tu. most parents in that school know me. ada yg brand me as mak yg tak reti jaga anak pasal they all don't understand him at all. i don't bother to explain myself to any of them. teachers pun susah - ada yg concerned, ada yg tak bother at all. we cannot shelter him or protect him all the time. he needs to know and go through the basic things in life. i don't think i am being too harsh on him by letting him go through all that. i don't set high expectations on him - after what he has gone through, i think it is a miracle that he survives five years of school so far. he is not doing well at school but at the autistic center - he is one of the "good" boys they have ever had. he was invited twice to present flowers to the queen. I once saw him on the stage in USM where he was presented as a subject of the seminar. he was in concerts in two hotels so far - invitations from companies. at least i rasa sejuk jugak - merasa jugak anak i ni naik stage and perform for a crowd. i have given talk to medical students on raising a special child. i have received calls from parents in KL to Perlis for advice on raising special children. entah sapa yg forwardkan number i but itulah kelebihan ada anak mcm ni. sometimes i just wish that he dies first so i tak rasa risau - sapa nak jaga dia bila i mati nanti....give him a chance to grow up the normal way. he may surprise you. one thing at a time.

Hai...pening kepala rasanya where to send Danial for his primary school education in 2010. Some of you might wonder...alahai, lama lagi. But not to me. I am not a last minute person and i do not like surprises be it pleasant or not. I always plan ahead of whatever i want to do. I started to look around for a suitable kindergarten for my eldest Aisyah when she was barely 2 years old! And now Danial...

One thing for sure, as of now, i plan to put Danial in the normal stream. And i guess, Danial is about the same level as Shitot's son at the time of enrolling primary school - borderline case. too normal to be in special class but not normal enough to be in the normal stream. However, i plan to enrol Danial in a private school of normal stream around Shah Alam that has a smaller number of children in a class. Also, Danial will still continue his speech therapy with his current therapist. To help him cope with his primary school work, i might approach one teacher in Ira's school who happens to be a trained teacher for special kids. What else ya? I can't think of anything else right now but i have faith that Allah will always be with me and show me the way for Danial's future. At the moment, my doa is Allah will show me or give me guidance on which school would be the most suitable for my son Danial.

INTRODUCING THE STAR OF THIS BLOG ~ AHMAD DANIAL AHMAD KUSHAIRI

BABY DANIAL BEFORE A YEAR OLD...

DANIAL SLIGHTLY ABOVE 2 YEARS OLD...

Nov 2007~Danial performing onstage at the year end concert!!

Danial's most recent pic..siap bole posing lagi and now mmg dah tak de problem with eye contact...

Danial buat naughty kat rumah orang masa raya 2008...gang up with his cousins (tremendous improvement on social and play skills)

MANJA IBU....DANIAL...

amboi...dah ok with attention span, tak leh lak amek gamba betol betol ea....

DANIAL's WALL OF FAME...

A month after kindergarten, Feb 2006

At this time, Danial's teacher still had difficulty in controlling his hyperactivity. He refused to hold his color pencil properly and color the picture within the boundary.

3 months after kindergarten

Danial forced me to draw shapes of a rectangle, a circle and a triangle over and over again...but refused to do it himself or let me hold his hand to guide him do it. This prolonged for about 2 weeks. And he would observe me very very closely to see how i did it. However, one day, he decided to pick up a pencil and drew these shapes on his own!

When i saw Danial drew the shapes, i knew Danial's cognitive ability is good. He could copy and remembered how it was done.

My observation: Memory was excellent!

Danial and me did this as a practice based on his occupational therapy's session. This exercise was meant to increase Danial's attention span and reduce his sensitivity towards touch. You see, most autistic kids are very sensitive either to loud sound or rough surface or sticky surface...At this time, Danial was still not comfortable with the glue all sticky and messy on his fingers.

The artworks below were meant to aim for the same purpose...the texture of water colors...the rough skin of the lady's finger (bendi).

I helped Danial with the butterfly. I had to hold his hand and guided him to color within the shape of the butterfly. He enjoyed this activity!
6 months after kindergarten

Notice that by now, after six months of kindergarten, Danial's attention span increased. He can now color the pictures within the boundary and could hold his pencil color properly.

DANIAL TODAY ~ TWO YEARS AFTER KINDERGARTEN!

Danial drew both pictures all by himself! Notice the happy face on the sun...He could label all the items he drew. Just look at the track ...the tunnel...the big rock...the trees, different kind of trees..there are palm trees...coconut trees...and the small sun smiling on the top right hand corner....His pictures are so detail like there are stories behind it...

When the light gets brighter and the costs gets bigger...

January 2006

Our trusted pediatrician suggested Danial enrol a kindergarten; a kindergarten for typical kids(kids with no developmental delay). According to Dr Amdan, many kids with autism or any developmental delay would adapt to the surrounding of the typical kids and would successfully show tremendous improvement. And that was exactly what happened to Danial..

April 2006 (4 months after starting kindergarten...a year after speech therapy)

THE SPEECH AND LANGUAGE REPORT

General information.
Ahmad Danial is an active boy. During the first appointment, he showed poor global skills which include preverbal skills, receptive skills, expressive skills and play skills. After intensive training is given (specific supplement prescribed by pediatrician, weekly speech therapy and entering Montessori kindergarten and other alternative therapy) he improves gradually. He plays more appropriately and in a variety way. He has more spontaneous verbalize expression.

PERFORMANCE

a) The preverbal skill

He is able to pay attention to each task given for full 15 minutes. He is able to sit down appropriately to each task given. He has spontaneous eye contact to object given and able to maintain the eye contact. He has spontaneous eye contact to name calling. He is able to request appropriately by palm raising and by expressing 'nak'. His imitation skills has grown appropriately.
b) receptive skills

He can recognize familiar items around him either in picture or real object. More than that, mother reports that he can point to the correct item asked such as family members and body parts. His skills develop through consistent task done weekly and exercise at home. He is able to perform simple basic instruction given spontaneously (eg close the door, keep the box)

c)the expressive skill

Most of the time he will use the appropriate sound with event.

Recommendation

It is recommended that Ahmad Danial to continue the existing program. A visit to an Occupational Therapist is highly suggested to assess him and to receive more opinion in order to improve his ability.

Siti Zurul Ain Abd Jabar

Speech and Language Therapist

DANIAL'S PROGRAMS

between January 2006 - May 2006

Montessori Kindergarten - 15 hours per week

Gymnastics - 1 hour per week ( to increase attention span and improve concentration)

Speech Therapy - 1 hour per week

Alternative therapy - 2x a month

Total cost = RM1000 per month

between June 2006 - December 2006

Montessori Kindergarten - 15 hours per week

Gymnastics - 1 hour per week

Speech Therapy - 1 hour per week

Alternative Therapy - 1x per month

Occupational Therapy - 1 hour per week

Total cost = RM1120 per month